Creating Character Voice

/ Mae Clair

Hi, SEers. Welcome to another Mae Day on Story Empire. Thanks for joining me for a discussion on character voice.  As authors, we know the importance of giving our characters a distinctive voice. This shouldn’t only apply to dialogue, but also inner thought and narrative prose. When you’re in character POV, the reader should hear the character’s voice even when they’re not speaking.

Close up of a new bridge and groom, groom hugging bridge, bridge holding bouquet of flowers
All photos from Bigstock Photos

The reason I bring this up is the number of books I’ve encountered lately where it’s difficult to determine the POV character. I’m a fan of psychological fiction, and much of this genre is written in first-person. A popular trend is to have multiple narrators with each chapter headed by the character name. I love multiple narrators (whether first or third-person) so this should be a win-win for me as a reader.

Sadly, I often find myself flipping back through pages to discover which character is narrating the chapter. Why? Because the author didn’t take the time to distinguish between voices. Below are some suggestions for making each of your characters stand out in a crowd.

DIALOGUE
The most obvious. How does the person express themselves? Go beyond accents and think about inflection, word choices, slang, even sentence structure. Let’s take a simple phrase and run it through three different characters. Our phrase is “Could you please be quiet while I’m trying to think?“

Prior to each character’s reaction, I’ve included what you might determine from their personality, based on their reply.

Character A: 
Is blunt and to the point.
“Cut the chatter. I need to think!“

Character B:  
A peacekeeper, trying to be tolerant, while getting their point across.
“Would you please tone back the noise level? I’m trying to think.“

Character C:  
Has little patience.
Shut the &$%# up! I can’t hear myself think!

BODY LANGUAGE
Characters react differently to outside stimuli and influences. Imagine our A, B, and C characters sitting around a table. Janet, our misguided heroine, thinks one of them have betrayed her by sharing a personal secret. How might they react if she accuses them? Their body language conveys the reaction I’ve attributed to each.

Character A: 
Defensive.
Jumps to her feet and starts poking Janet in the chest, denying everything in righteous indignation.

Character B: 
Shocked.
Grows breathless in disbelief; can barely speak to defend herself she’s so blindsided.

Character C: 
Hurt emotionally.
Hunches forward, face in hands, teary-eyed that Janet would think such a thing of her.

couple in clear misunderstanding at restaurants seated at table, looking away from each other, both upset

Internal Thoughts
Like spoken dialogue and body language, internal POV can also define a character’s voice. Let’s go back to A, B, and C again and examine how they might be different.

Character A:
Thinks in short, choppy sentences.
Screw Janet. She can think what she wants.

Character B:
Has a jaded outlook, layering thoughts with vinegar or sarcasm.
I can’t believe Janet thinks I ratted her out. But then she always was a self-centered witch who couldn’t tell her curling iron from her broomstick.

Character C:
A worrywart, a trait that slips through whenever she’s examining or reflecting on a situation. 
I should have never told Janet I got together with Mark. That’s probably why she thinks I betrayed her. I shouldn’t have said anything. Now Mark’s going to find out and he’ll be upset. Janet is probably on the phone calling him right now.

Other ideas for helping create a distinctive narrator might be a habitual trait, favorite crutch word, or slang expression. Regional dialect and accents also play a factor, but accents should be the element you rely on the least. An overdone accent can backfire and become a turnoff for your reader.

Bottom line—If you’re going to use multiple narrators, make sure your reader can tell them apart. I’d love to know if you’ve used multiple first-person narrators in the same book and/or if you enjoy reading them. Also, if you have other tips to share on this subject, drop them in the comments. Let’s get some discussion started.

Ready, set, go!

bio box for author, Mae Clair

117 thoughts on “Creating Character Voice”

  3. Hi Mae, it is quite a coincidence that I should read this post today. I am in the final throws of The Picture of Dorian Grey by Oscar Wilde and I have noticed how much head hopping occurs with his writing. It is quite interesting to note it as head hopping is so frowned upon today. Thanks for your post about differentiating characters. It is most helpful.

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    • Hi, Careena! Thank you for visiting. I’m so glad to hear you found the post useful, and even happier to know you’ll be visiting again. At Story Empire, our goal is to share tips and topics of help to other writers. Please do browse around the site. We’re glad to have you join us!

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  12. Your examples were fantastic, Mae. I loved how dramatically they showed the difference in voices. I don’t know if I’ve read a book with multiple first-person voices, but I think your examples apply to 3rd person just as well. Voice is a critical part of achieving a tight pov and connecting a reader to the characters This goes to show how incredibly important it is to know your characters too. The better we know them, the less we’ll struggle with making them distinct.

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    • We really do need to get into their heads in order to flesh them out, Diana. I’m a character-driven writer, and I tend to choose books by authors who write that way as well. I’ve come to like a lot of first person multi-narrator books, but only when the writer takes the time to know their characters inside and out, so that I can know them, too. I’m so glad you enjoyed the post, and yep–all my examples work with third person, too!

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  15. You shared some excellent examples, Mae. I’m with you on the reader frustration part. I hate to have to flip pages back to find out who is talking. This is a most excellent post and a great reminder to be mindful of our readers. Thank you for sharing!

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    • Hi, Jan! I’m so glad you enjoyed the post. We have so many elements to concentrate on when crafting our stories. Character voice is just another to be mindful of so we don’t have those instances of flipping back through pages. I know that has killed more than a handful of books for me.

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  17. Thanks for the examples, Mae! Multiple first person POVs sounds interesting. I’ve tried to write first person narrative, but it isn’t my strong suit; and it’s inspiring when an author handles it well. Great post!

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    • I prefer to write third person as well, Linda. I’ve done a short story in first person, but third comes more naturally to me. I agree it’s inspiring when an author handles first well, especially int he use of multiple narrators.
      I’m glad you enjoyed the post!

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  19. A fantastic post you’ve written, Mae. Voice is so important to each individual character. If the reader gets lost among dialog and narration, the story falls apart. I’ve read stories where I have to back up and re-read entire paragraphs and pages to determine which character is the POV. Those are stories I usually don’t finish. Your piece here will be an asset to those writers who may not fully grasp the concept.

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    • Thanks, Beem. I’m so glad you feel this post is helpful to writers struggling to define character voice. Like you, I’ve come across a number of novels where I couldn’t tell one voice from the other, thus constantly flipping back to the start of the chapter to distinguish who was telling the tale. When an author chooses to use multiple narrators, especially with first person POV, they really need to give character voice and all the ways to achieve it more than a passing thought!

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  20. Great post, Mae 🙂 I have done the same thing reading, forget whose voice is narrating the story. I like to stick with one voice but have used more than one many time. I used both first and third mixed before too.

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    • It seems many of us have had the experience of forgetting who is narrating a chapter, which is sad because it implies writers aren’t paying enough attention to character voice. As a writer I most prefer third person and usually have multiple narrators, but as a reader, I’m open to many more options!

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  21. I’ve written from different characters’ POVs before but not in first person. I think multiple POV adds a lot of tension to a suspense or thriller. And I have to say, I love your example from jaded Character B: “who couldn’t tell her curling iron from her broomstick.” Clever!

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  23. I have never tried multiple first-person narratives. Not because I wanted to avoid them but simply because my story didn’t take me in that direction. I think you make some great points that are useful for group dialogue scenes as well. Thanks, Mae.

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  25. Love this post, Mae. I just finished an excellent thriller with three POVs, but two were from women. Their voices were very similar and the only way I could tell who was speaking (without checking the chapter heading) was by which characters they were with or a mention of their profession. But I’m a fan of different POVs.

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    • POVs featuring two characters of the same sex must be very clear, and it takes careful writing and good editing, It annoys me most when the author has a publisher and thousands of reviews. They are usually also expensive – I borrow them with Amazon Prime. I don’t mind paying £/$2.99, but that’s my limit; I read a lot, as most writers do.

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      • Sarah, I’ve been burned lots of times. When a book sounds good and has great buzz, I don’t mind dropping $14.99 or above to purchase it. But I’ve also done that and ended up hating the book. I remember one in particular that had me so annoyed that I’d wasted my time reading it. That’s why I also look to NetGalley for upcoming reads.

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    • I’ve read books like that, Teri. More than a few. I’ve also read books where I can’t tell the difference between male and female narrators (which is really bad). Like you, I LOVE multiple narrators, so when an author handles it well, I become an ardent fan!

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  27. Excellent post. I’ve also had to flip back to remember whose side of the story I’m reading about. I’ve only really gone down that path once in The Playground. I did title my chapter something like “Clovis” so readers were aware we shifted. I will occasionally add a chapter from a different POV, and this is good to remember. One of my new ones is first person and we never leave her for the entire novel. I’m a big believer in habit and tics, even shpeech impediments.

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    • Haha on the speech impediments, Craig! A certain favorite vampire springs to mind. 🤣
      Habits and tics can really add color to our characters, and yours certainly have that that. If I’m going to read first person, I generally prefer one narrator for the whole novel (like your WIP). It get tricky when a writer has 2-3 all in first person. I’ve read books where it’s done well . Sadly, I’ve also read a few that left me frustrated flipping through pages to remember who was telling the chapter. I remember one in particular where the male lead sounded exactly like the female lead. Needles to say, I never read that author again!

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  28. Most of my books and stories are third person, past tense. I prefer to write (and read) that way, but I have grown to enjoy first person narration. In my recent short story collection, I wrote two stories in first person, one was in present tense with multiple narrators. It can be tricky, but I hope I pulled it off.

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  31. My Wolves of Vimar series has multiple narrators, especially Book 4, which is going through the critiquing process at the moment.
    As the first book in this series was my first, I suspect I could have done better with this. I hope I’ve improved with the subsequent books!

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    • I would think the more you exercise a writing muscle, the better you get at it, V.M. There’s nothing with multiple narrators (as a reader I love them), it’s just making sure each has a distinctive voice. It sounds like you’ve worked to ensure that’s the case!

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  32. I hate it when I have to go back to see whose POV I’m in. I try to use distinct voices (dialog, internalization, and narration). I try to use traits and tics, too. I don’t know if I succeed, but I think it’s easier in third person. Or I just prefer it. All of my novels are third person, past tense. I have written first person, but only short form. I’d say that would be an interesting character study for me, but I can’t imagine writing a whole novel in first.

    Great post, Mae.

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  33. Excellent post, Mae. Readers can easily get confused, especially if they’re using Kindle. Changes in POV, location, or time periods, can lead to backtracking. Your post and examples help me see my WIP through an important critical lens. Thank you!

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  34. Fantastic examples, Mae! The difference between bestsellers and also-rans often revolves around the characters. Your make-or-break points serve as an excellent checklist to observe well-developed characters in masterworks. An author’s descriptions can amplify the character’s voice. My favorite example comes from Dashiell Hammett’s The Maltese Falcon and the exchange between Sam Spade and Joel Cairo. Dialogue tags aren’t needed to discern one character from the other. Raymond Chandler offers more excellent examples. Eye opening!

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  35. I’ve never written multiple narratives in first person. I have written multiple narratives in third-person. That is a bit different in that the narrator is still an objective outsider, but I still had to switch up the thinking and mannerisms that were focused on because of which character was in control of the scene. Like you, I don’t mind when an author switches POVs, but I don’t enjoy reading a story that has one POV is first-person and the other in third person. It pulls me out of the story. Great post, Mae! 🙂

    Yvette M Calleiro 🙂
    http://yvettemcalleiro.blogspot.com

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    • 99% of what I write is also multiple third person narrators, Yvette. It’s my preferred POV and the one I’m most comfortable. There was a time I wouldn’t even read first person POV, but now I enjoy it as long as it’s done well. Like you, I don’t care for the combination of first and third in the same book, though I have read a few that I liked. Overall, that’s probably my least favorite means of having an author tell a story.

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  36. I so agree with you, Mae! I’ve read some excellent examples of psychological fiction with different narrators, and I’ve been disappointed by the lack of distinction between characters in others. Your examples are clear and very useful – it’s not just the words, but the way they’re said, the tone of voice and the accompanying ‘tics’ and actions. Thanks! ♥♥

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    • Hi, Trish! I’m glad my examples are clear and useful. In the various genres I read, I normally find lack of author voice most noticeable in psychological fiction. On the flip side, when an author does it well in that genre, the book is truly memorable. Obviously, regardless of genre, character voice is important, but I think it’s harder to do when you’re using multiple first person narrators.

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      • I wrote my first book in first person present tense because I hoped to capture what it was like to be trapped in an inadequate care home. After a short while it felt natural and right. I enjoy well-written books in so many different styles, but when I come across an expensive, super-hyped book that is poorly written and constructed, I’ll sometimes break my pledge not to post a review of 3* or less…

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      • I enjoy first person present tense. A lot of psychological fiction is written that way.
        As for reviews, I’ve posted a handful of 2-star reviews in my day–because I committed to posting reviews through NetGalley. But sometimes other readers just need to be warned away when the book is pricey and the story doesn’t deliver!

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  38. Mai Clair, I’ve always written this way – to the point of excluding dialogue tags, so differences in speech and thought are vital. Thank you for yet more tips on the subject. I shall be rereading my WIP checking I have followed through with differences in action/reaction.

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    • Hi, Sarah. It sounds like you’re concentrating on exactly what you should be. I find it so discouraging when I can’t tell narrators apart because the author didn’t stop to give them distinctive voices. I glad my use of action/reaction has prompted you to double check your WIP. I wish you happy writing and editing!

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    • Hi, David. You’re absolutely right! There is SO much that goes into writing that most people, including readers, never stop to think about. It’s a lot of work, but we do it because we love it. I’m so glad you found the post helpful and can implement some of the tips!

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