
Hi SErs! Harmony here 🙂
Today, I’d like to take another look at dialogue. Because this is such a large topic, I have spread the topic over a few posts. As the post title suggests, we’ll look at ‘punctuation’ around dialogue today.
“I thought you said-“
Penny interrupted, “I don’t care what you thought.”
“Now what …” Kelly trailed off.
“Who’s hungry?” Ben asked.
“We already ate Ben.”
The above dialogue shows a multitude of errors.
Top Tip: Let your punctuation speak for itself.
The dashes and elipses show both the interruption and the trailing off. You don’t also need to tell it.
As I’m sure you’ve guessed, the girls didn’t actually eat Ben. They did, however, forget the essential comma so that the readers know cannibalism isn’t involved. “We already ate, Ben.”
Any time we use a name or endearment within dialogue to directly address someone, we need to put a comma beforehand to separate it out from the rest of the sentence, as in the above exampe.
What Do we use Instead? Dialogue Beats and tags … this will avoid talking heads and white room syndromes. See below …
“I thought you said-“
Penny scowled. “I don’t care what you thought.”
“Now what …” Kelly bit her lip.
“Who’s hungry?” Ben asked.
“We already ate, Ben.”
And better still with the above example, leave Ben’s name out of it altogether. It’s clear from the context who is being answered. What’s not so clear is whether or not it’s Kelly or Penny who has replied. As shown in previous posts, the odd use of name dropping is fine, but we do want to keep it to a minimum. So, here, we could use either a tag or a beat instead. So … Penny said, “We already ate.”
The use of tags and beats is the way to go, and the punctuation speaks for itself.
1. ) Any time we want to show an interruption, we use a dash.
2.) Any time we want to show a trailing off or fading away, we use an elipsis.
3.) Any time we use a name, we place a comma before it to separate it from the rest of the sentence.
The take-away from all of this is to use punctuation to help you show, and don’t then go on to also tell it. As I said in my previous dialogue post: Before we break the rules, we need to know the rules, and we only break them if we have a valid reason to do so to enhance our artistic expression in writing.
That’s it from me for today. I hope you find this post useful. And I’ll see you again on May 10th 🙂
Post One: Name Dropping can be found HERE.
Post Two: Tags and Beats can be found HERE.
©2021 Harmony Kent
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The name-dropping is something I struggle with, Harmony, specifically in groups where everyone is adding their two cents. I feel like I need a name in a tag or beat for every bit of dialog. I drive myself crazy trying to work around it. Great tips. Thanks for sharing.
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So pleased this is helpful. Thanks, Diana 🙂
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This was helpful. Thanks 🙏🏽
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That’s great. Thanks, Chioma🙂
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Punctuation is key. I find something done incorrectly pulls me out of the story.
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For sure. Thanks, Michele 🙂
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Brief and to the point. Thanks, Harmony!
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You’re welcome, Olga 🙂
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It is always good to be reminded about punctuation and dialogue, Harmony.
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Writing these helps remind me as well! Thanks, Robbie 🙂
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Reblogged this on Author Don Massenzio and commented:
Check out this great post from Harmony Kent via the Story Empire blog titled: Don’t Talk Like That: How to Write Good Dialogue–Punctuation
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Thanks for the share, Don 🙂
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You’re welcome.
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Good insights, Harmony. Thanks for sharing.
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Thanks, Cynthia 🙂
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Great reminders and examples, Harmony! Thanks.
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Thanks, Bette 🙂
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Great tips, Harmony! It never hurts to review these concepts, especially since it only makes our writing stronger. 🙂
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For sure. Thanks, Yvi 🙂
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Great, clear examples, Harmony. Thanks!
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Thanks, Trish 🙂
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Good examples, Harmony! Thanks!
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Thanks, Judi 🙂
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A misplaced comma, or the lack of one, makes a world of difference. And don’t get me started on those who refuse to use the Oxford comma. 😀
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I’m with you on the Oxford comma, Joan! 🙂
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Great post and information, Harmony:) I always giggle when missing commas make it seem like they are eating the person. Your examples were helpful. It is good to learn the rules, I agree. Thanks for sharing them.
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Glad to give you a giggle. Thanks, Denise 🙂
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Always good to go over these again. I have seen some dialogue where the beginning of the phrase within quotes is not capitalized. For example, John said, “put down the ax.” I have been taught that any dialogue begins with a capital letter no matter where it occurs. So my example would be: John said, “Put down the ax.” Maybe you can set me straight if I’m wrong cause a piece I’m reading now is driving me nuts.
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You’re absolutely correct, John. The only exception is where you say one word. For example: John said “sorry” and hung his head. Otherwise always punctuate and start with a capital letter 🙂
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Yay. Harmony. Thanks.
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This is such a great post with simple tips that absolutely work! Thank you for breaking down the dash and ellipsis usage. They are most helpful at times, and especially in dialogue. A great topic and great tips shared today! Thank you, Harmony!
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You’re welcome, Jan. Glad you’re enjoying the posts 🙂
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Well, dialog is usually very hard to write. LOL. Thanks for the post.
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It seems to be one of the trickier areas of writing. Thanks, Haoyando 🙂
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Excellent reminders, Harmony! Mind if I add a tip? Learn the different dashes and their meanings. The em dash is for cut off speech (in dialogue). The en dash shows a span of time (ex. 1949 –1956). The regular dash is used to connect words (ex. hot-headed).
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Not at all, Sue. Tip away! The em dash is also used to join clauses. These days the en dash is restricted to the span of time. 🙂
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Excellent reminders, Harmony! Punctuation is vitally important to make the meaning of our words clear, and this series is most excellent! Thanks so much for such perfect examples! 🙂 So glad Ben was taken off the menu! 😀
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Me too! Glad you’re enjoying the posts. Thanks, Marcia 🙂
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Thanks for this, Harmony. One of the problems I struggle with in writing dialog is understanding when “It’s clear from the context.” I find myself saying “I thought that would be clear from context,” all too often. In your example, I like leaving Ben out. I certainly like leaving him off the menu 😉
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Lols! Definitely off the menu. Regarding the context … if you leave the finished manuscript for a month to six weeks or so, your brain forgets. When you re-read, you’ll see where the reader is likely to stumble, as it’s no longer self evident to you either. Hope that helps! Thanks, Dan 🙂
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Thanks! That does help.
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Punctuation errors can be funny. They can also drive me insane. It never hurts to review them. (The editor in me wants to do so once a day, but I think our readers would revolt.) Thanks, Harmony.
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For sure. Thanks, Staci 🙂
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Excellent post, Harmony, and great reminders. You had me laughing out loud at “We already ate Ben.” 😀
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I must admit to a giggle or three when I wrote that. Thanks, Mae 🙂
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Great refresher, thanks.
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Thanks, Craig 🙂
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Fantastic post, Harmony. You’ve helped me understand the punctuation of dialogue, which often perplexes me. 😊
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That’s great. Thanks, Gwen 🙂
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Terrific post, Harmony! Your example are so helpful. As always, you’re a fantastic teacher!
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That’s wonderful. Thanks, Jill 🙂
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Thank you so much, Harmony! You are also one of my best grammar teachers. Have a beautiful day! Michael
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That’s lovely to see. Thanks so much, Michael. Have a wonderful day! 🙂
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Thank you very much, Harmony! Have a lovely day as well. Michael
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Interesting post, Harmony, and I notice that you use what I call proper speech marks, “. Are these compulsory, for I tend to use the single ones for everything?
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Good question on the quotes: The quotes depend on nationality. The US uses doubles, and the UK uses singles. When I do blog posts, I tend to alternate which I use because of the international readership. Often, on a post, the doubles show up better. I always use singles in my books, though. Hope that clarifies. 🙂
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Thank you, Harmony. It does…
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