Writing Tight

/ Joan Hall

Hi, SEers! It’s time for another Mae Day on Story Empire.  I’m going to preface this post by saying I’m not an editor or expert, but I do make an effort to write tight when composing. Part of that involves eliminating filler words such as that, just, really, very, slightly, and only among others. Most writers know to scour their manuscript and weed out fillers. But how else can you write tight?

the word tight highlighted in a dictionary

ADVERBS
As Stephen King likes to point out—eliminate adverbs. I soften that to “avoid them.” Some are necessary, others may enrich a passage. It’s your call on how stringently you adhere to Mr. King’s  advice. Note the adverb? I thought it worked here. 

ELIMINATE REDUNDANCY
English is filled with redundant expressions, many that transfer into our writing. Do any from the list below sound familiar? I’m guilty of allowing several to slip into my WIPs.

Quick glimpse (glimpse)
Bouquet of flowers (bouquet)
Careful scrutiny (scrutiny)
Current trend (trend)
Gathered together (gathered)
Lag behind (lag)
Period of time (period)
Bald-headed (bald)
End result (result)
Briefly summarized (summarized)

Let’s look at a redundant phrase:
Millie’s heart hammered in her chest.

I see this one a lot, but think about it…where else would Millie’s heart hammer except in her chest? It’s not going to hammer in her arm or leg. 🙂

Correction:

Millie’s heart hammered against her ribs.

The first sentence is similar to saying Millie’s breath caught in her throat (where else would it catch?) when you could more concisely say Millie caught her breath. You’ve also changed the wording from passive to active, yet another way to tighten your writing.

ELIMINATE PASSIVE PHRASING
Passive:
“Don’t be thick, Jamie. You know who I am.” A disbelieving snort was accompanied by the pointed lifting of two blond eyebrows.  “It’s Christmas Eve, boy.  Didn’t you ever read Dickens?”

Active:
“Don’t be thick, Jamie. You know who I am.” A disbelieving snort accompanied the pointed lifting of two blond brows. “It’s Christmas Eve, boy.  Didn’t you ever read Dickens?”

Note the change in the middle section.

UNNECESSARY ARTICLE AND PRONOUNS
Check carefully. There are times you can eliminate a, an, or the. Same for pronouns.

Example:
Millie looked about for a place to sit down, but she didn’t see an empty seat.

Eliminate redundancy and tighten:
Millie looked for a place to sit, but didn’t see an empty seat.

Three words eliminated: about, down, she

TIGHTEN SENTENCE STRUCTURE
Wordy:
James tried to follow the reasoning but was still having problems wrapping his head around the image of his grandfather – – his deceased grandfather – – sitting comfortably on the couch.  “You mean A Christmas Carol?” he ventured at last.  “. . . ghosts of Christmas past?”

Tight:
James tried to follow the reasoning but couldn’t wrap his head around the image of his deceased grandfather on the couch. “You mean A Christmas Carol? Ghosts of Christmas past?”

DELETE REPETITIVE WORDS
They’re easy to overlook. Go through our manuscript and kill any echoes. I find reading aloud helps to spot them.

Note that writing tight does not mean throttling your muse. I endeavor to write tight but I’ve also been called a descriptive writer. The two can work together. There’s no need to stifle your creativity, it’s more about choosing your words. I edit as I write, and tighten as I edit. 🙂

What’ your method? How do you feel about writing tight? Is it something you strive to do? Do you have any tricks to share? I’d love to hear your thoughts on today’s post.

Ready, set, go!

bio box for author Mae Clair

78 thoughts on “Writing Tight”

  1. Pingback: Writing Tight — Story Empire [reblog] – Author Steve Boseley – Half a Loaf of Fiction

  2. Good advice. I actually find that twitter is a good teacher of brevity tricks. I also used to participate in AOL’s weekly short story contest – no more than 250 words. I’m writing some “myths” now and I want to vary the “tightness” — sometimes I want the action to go quickly and other times, I want people to slow down and enjoy the description. What do you think? https://petersironwood.com/2018/08/07/myth-of-the-veritas-the-first-ring-of-empathy/

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    • I hadn’t considered Twitter as a form for teaching brevity but you’re absolutely right. And I know there are other micro fit meme’s out there, which make for great experimentation. Thanks for visiting and checking out the post. I hopped over to your blog and left a comment there. Great writing!

      Like

      Reply

    • Hi, Will. So glad you dropped by to check out the post. Mr. King is a definitely a master in the craft of sculpting fiction!

      I’m so glad you’ll be following the blog and hope you’ll find the content we share helpful!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

    • Hi, Katie! So glad you stopped by to check out the post. We’re always happy to help on Story Empire.
      Have you just started writing? We’ve always got something to share here and are happy to interact with those who visit!
      Happy writing!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      • Oh thank you so much! I’ve been writing for the last few months and am now nearing the end of my book. However, I am also reading more which has rather highlighted my grammatical errors (even to a novice like myself!) I think I have a lot to learn but am terribly excited so was rather thrilled to find your blog. Thank you. Katie

        Liked by 1 person

      • Congratulations on nearing completion of your book, Katie! That is always an exciting time. 🙂

        You’re smart in making certain it’s whistle clean before submitting to a publisher or before publishing yourself. One of the things we’ve discussed on Story Empire in the past is not to rush a release. You want it to be as polished as possible before releasing, as you only have one chance to make a first impression. We are so glad you found us and hope you will visit often!

        Like

    • There’s nothing wrong with being florid at times. You have a distinctive style that I positively love. It allows me to wallow around in your scenes. Your work has a beautiful literary tone, even when you’re writing about harsh and stark realities—or visiting crows 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      • Well, again, thanks so much! I wonder if we realise that we have a style. I know you have – it’s very strong and distinctive, and I see it in other successful writers, too, but I never think of myself as having anything particularly different. There you go!

        Liked by 1 person

  9. Pingback: Five Links Loleta Abi | Loleta Abi

  10. Pingback: Author Inspiration and This Week’s Writing Links – Staci Troilo

    • The more you work at it, Robbie, the easier it will become. And I don’t think it’s anything we ever achieve completely. As writers, we have to constantly be on the look out for redundancy and tightening our writing.
      Happy writing! I’m glad you enjoyed the article and found it helpful.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  15. I was a technical writer for many years. This profession makes you write tight. I find the opposite when I write. I don’t do much with description of any kind. I have to go back and add. I’m not saying I add fluff, but I do need to add to enhance the story. Although, I do find myself using the word “that” more than I should.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  17. Uh-oh. Guilty on all counts at some stage from the beginning of my work to my current WIP. We are on a never-ending learning curve, or we should be. I’m currently re-reading my works from years ago and am gobsmacked by the comparison to my current works. I decided to go back and make all the necessary changes. I’ll be applying many of the shared insights in your post. Thanks, Mae.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  19. Excellent post and example, Mae. I found a tool that is helpful in spotting overused words, ProWritingAid. I tend to use the word “could” or “couldn’t” a lot. In one part of a manuscript, I had used it over 90 times. 🙂 Wow! And, in going back over it, I found lots of other ways to say the same thing. I agree on adverbs. They are necessary at times. Thanks for sharing. We can always use refreshers. Hugs!

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply

    • Jan, I’ve never heard of ProWritingAid, but I am off to look it up as soon as I finish this reply, It sounds like an extreme useful tool. Thanks for sharing. I think we all have crutch words the we use a lot. I’ve found out I need to be on the lookout for “surely” among others! {{hugs}}

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  21. “Sat down” and “stood up” are two I’m always correcting when I edit. Same with word echoes, particularly on people’s names. Yet I’m sure I let those slip into my writing all the time. That’s why I’m grateful for my critique group — they are careful readers and find many of my mistakes when I’m blind to them.

    Liked by 5 people

    Reply

  23. Wonderful post today. I always heard the redundancies are called pleonasms. I just like the word. How do you differentiate a bouquet of flowers from one of, say skulls? How do you feel if someone calls it a bouquet of lilies, as opposed to flowers?

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  24. Pingback: Writing Tight | Ann Writes Inspiration

    • Glad you enjoyed the post, Joan! I find no matter how many times I go over my manuscript, I’m constantly finding ways to tighten passages.And then, of course my critique partners catch the ones I STILL overlook, LOL!

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

  26. Great article, Mae. I am all about writing tight. One I see a lot is: ‘she nodded her head.’ We know this can only be her head, so we can reduce down to: ‘She nodded.’ And ‘hear, hear’ on not being repetitive. The same word used over and over in quick succession drives me nuts. Google is a great resource for finding synonyms if you’re stuck. Thanks for this, Mae 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

    • She nodded her headed is another excellent example, Harmony. It’s amazing what can be cut when you really stop and analyse a passage. Also, great reference to Google. The internet is such a powerful tool when stuck.
      I’m glad you enjoyed the post!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

    • Stepping away from your WIP for days or weeks is a great way to look at it fresh, Priscilla. That always makes such a difference for me.
      Recently, I was up against a deadline and had to read through my ms three times in three days! I have a post coming up this week on my blog about how SICK I was of reading it, LOL.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  29. Yeah. Stephen King and I seem to have opposite opinions on adverbs. Always find it weird when a tip involves not using a part of the human language. It really drives home the fact that we’re expected to write in a different way than we talk.

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply

    • I do use the occasional adverb when I write, but I find myself cutting them more than I used to when I re-read a sentence. I think writing would be boring without some adverbs thrown in. The same with adjectives. And, yes, I agree we definitely write differently than we talk. Another reason why things slip through in my writing I have to catch on a re-read or my critique partners do.

      On that subject, one that trips me up all the time: I have to remember to write (as an example) “the battery needs to be replaced” instead of “the battery needs replaced.” That’s the common phrasing in my area and it still slips through in my writing!

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

      • Might be my present tense and action style. They help set the scene since I can’t do a lot of internal or past connection things without it being clunky. Never thought of area phrases either. Those can cause some confusion.

        Liked by 2 people

We'd love to know what you think. Comment below.

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

Gravatar
WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Cancel

Connecting to %s