Droll Definitions

Hello SEers! Harmony here. I hope this finds you all well today 🙂

In the spirit of fostering creativity, I thought we’d have a bit of fun today by playing with definitions.

imgresWe writers can spend a lot of time looking up word definitions in dictionaries or online. Just for fun, type ‘Askew’ into your Google search bar and hit return, then look at the page that loads … do you see it? Ah well, gave me a giggle! If, perchance, it doesn’t work on your device, then what Google does is to display the page askew … that is, on a slant, lols.

A typical dictionary definition reads something like:


  1. 1.
    a small vessel for travelling over water, propelled by oars, sails, or an engine.’

Pretty mundane stuff, right?

The other day, I came across an amusing wall plaque that offered a different view:

‘Boat (Bot)

A large hole in the water, surrounded by wood, into which money is poured.’

When I finally stopped chuckling, this set my brain alight with other ideas for twisting imgresthe meaning of things. Some of the best books I’ve read contained unique metaphors or put a twist on old cliches. To have a play with definitions helps us to look around corners and come up with our own curious, unusual, and amusing phrases.

Here are some more that I found online  …


Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night.’



Something you tell everybody to tell nobody.’



The best time to do everything that you planned to do today.’



A word used in place of the one you can’t spell.’

And, to finish off with, a couple of mine:


A cross between a Dwarf and a Troll with a warped sense of humour.’

(And, my personal favourite …)


screen-shot-2017-02-08-at-12-47-18A person who doesn’t know the answer and is a little stumped, usually from spending all day legless.’

A quick note for those of you who may find the last one a tad offensive: I am an amputee myself, and as you can see, I have a wicked sense of humour, which helps me make the best of a difficult situation. As does the chappie on the right … yep, I SO need to try out this trick!

The point to all imgres-1of this is to challenge our preconceived notions and ideas and pull us out of our set thinking patterns. Don’t worry too much about coming up with offensive stuff. You can worry about that later if it ever makes it into one of your books! he he he 🙂

My challenge for you today is to come up with your own twists on definitions. I’d love to see which blind corners your minds go around.

Thanks for stopping by today. It’s always great to share with you.

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Harmony Kent

45 thoughts on “Droll Definitions

  1. Pingback: Curated Content 3 March 2017 | Story Empire

  2. Great post, Harmony! My husband was an amputee for the last seven years of his life. I wrote a scene in ‘Til Death Do Us Part where we went to a crowded restaurant and the hostess seated him at the end of the table. A waiter dashing by to take care of his customers kept bumping into Rick. Finally, he lost his temper and yelled at the guy that if he bumped into him one more time he was going to shove him against the back wall and chew his feet off at the ankles. 🙂 At the time, it wasn’t funny, but within less than two hours, we were laughing about it. There were so many challenges, but mostly he kept a good humor. Being curious, I had to Google Askew. 🙂 Funny stuff. I don’t have a definition for you, but loved this post!

    Liked by 2 people

      • Hope so, Harmony – I’m doing battle with a cold right now, and hope to keep that doctor FAR away. I think I’ll hop back up and read it all again – I think 2 laughs today would be a good idea. 🙂

        btw- I prepare my Mental Health Awareness calendar posts in advance and am already working on April which, you may already know, includes Limb Loss Awareness Month. Since I also write for trauma survivors, many with PTSD and some veterans with limb loss along with cognitive challenges, this awareness event is clearly Mental Health related. I’m including a link to the Amputee Coalition, with a lot of super resources. One look at the photos on their home page and you’ll know they would probably NOT be stumped by your last one.
        (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMORE dot com)
        ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder
        “It takes a village to transform a world!”

        Liked by 2 people

  3. Fun post today, Harmony! I’m constantly twisting what other people say into something a little different. My family often roll their eyes at me and groan. These were quite funny and entertaining!

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Reblogged this on and commented:

    Harmony Kent at Story Empire shares a humorous post today about words and their not-so-well-known definitions. If you’re looking for a laugh to get you going this morning, you owe it to yourself to check it out.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Your amputee comment brought back a memory I probably shouldn’t share but will, because, hey, we’re all family here, right?

    My husband’s grandfather was an amputee (left leg). Hubby and I were dating at the time and dropped in to visit him and Grandma. He asked my husband how his car was. (We were in college, and Hubby was driving a hunk of junk, but that was all he could afford at the time.) Hubby said, “Not too good, Pap. It’s on its last leg.” Now, Pappap didn’t even blink, but Hubby? You should have seen his face… his eyes got wide and his cheeks—no, his whole face!—got so red. Then Pappap smiled and put Hubby at ease. Moral of the story? It pays to keep a good attitude and sense of humor about life. I miss that man.

    We had no power this morning, and I’m just now getting my coffee, ergo—brain fog. But I’ll take a stab at it and give you this one: Fudge. Something you eat when you’re being bad but something you say when you’re being good.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Am sitting here chuckling away, Staci! Love it.

      Your story puts me in mind of when I was a student nurse. I worked nights as an assistant to make some money while in training (which was unpaid). I ended up helping the ward sister help to bathe and dress a patient. She gave me the job of searching for his slippers. I found one almost straight away, but the other one … nope, just didn’t seem to be anywhere. So, already feeling her strong displeasure at the inordinate delay … I grabbed the one I’d found and held it up in triumph with the words, ‘Well, I found ONE!’ Her glare had my smile fade and my face pale. The patient, seated ‘patiently’ in his wheelchair? Well, he cracked up laughing. Only then did I remember that he had one leg and only needed one slipper! OMG!! Happily, I did, eventually, make a better nurse than that! And, more happily, the guy had a wonderful sense of humour. Only the ward sister disapproved 🙂

      Liked by 4 people

  6. Loved the post, Harmony! Lots of chuckles in there. I wish I could come up with my own droll definition but I’m drawing a blank right now. Hopefully as the day progresses and my mind wakes up, I may conjure something for later. Thanks for the morning chuckles!

    Liked by 3 people

  7. This is my first visit to your site and I’m much impressed. Kudos to all the authors!
    I love this posting…and add my 2-cents: Reality – a word for the trail of dreams slumbering.

    Liked by 6 people

  8. Well, interesting angle of seeing things. It made me smile. And, what is most important, for me, it took a rock from my heart, knowing that I am not ther only one using a dictionary of synonyms!!!- I’m not a native English speaker.

    Liked by 5 people

    • Never would have guessed you’re not a native English speaker, Carmens; you do so well! And, plenty of us natives struggle, lols. Thanks for stopping by and supporting 🙂

      Liked by 4 people

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